Please Meet Sam, the dog, formerly known as Prince

when Sam was a little pup..

This is the sweetness I call Sam.  I adopted him from a local shelter several years ago.  His name was Prince when I met him.  To me Prince should be a bad-to-the-bone bulldog or Pit.  Or, a little, tiny, pocket puppy!   So, since I was adopting him there was an immediate name change. His official name: Sam, the dog, formerly known as Prince.  Sam, Sammers, Sammydog, Dogathon or Puppy for short.

Sam and I have many good times. I love when he snuggles, tosses his toys around for himself or morphs into Rocket Dog and blasts through the yard in circles.  Laugh out loud funny. Every time he does it.  We've also had a few bad times.  Like when he ate my Gucci horsebit sunglasses or chewed the corners off of 7, yes SEVEN, comforters.  This was when he was a puppy.  I guess he had a thing for stuffing.  Or when he stayed at my friends house when I was out of town and ate the baby Jesus from the nativity. Or, maybe it was Joseph?  Or, a wise men?  Whatever. 

Sam makes me laugh every day.  Sometimes he makes me scream.  Like yesterday.   But he doesn't understand when I yell F&*K!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SAM !!!!!!!!!!!!  He probably thinks I yelled  PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!  SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! So he wags his tail and smiles at me.  And, I want to scream.

Why?  Well...I found some kind of brown smudge on the B R A N D  N E W slipcover for the chair cushion.  Literally not even 24 hours old. Just ironed and steamed and updated yesterday. I stared down the smudge hoping it would disappear. And, this is what goes through my mind...

Chocolate..did he eat chocolate!?! Oh, no!!!   But how could he have gotten chocolate?  Chocolate kills dogs.. Mud?? ..more likely than chocolate.  But, he wasn't in the mud?  There is no mud. Plus he was only outside long enough to lift his leg and take a few deep bunny-sniffing dog breaths.

Dog poop????   Oh My Gawd....It's dog poop!!!! I am sure of it.  Poop on my brand new slipcover! Are you kidding me???? How on earth did Sam get poop on the chair?!?!?  It can't be dog poop, it has to be chocolate!!! 

But, the dog-mother sniff-test confirmed...it was indeed poop! Dog! Poop!

You see Sam likes to sit on the back of the chair and daydream out the window.  So instead of just watching squirrels to pass the time I guess he rubbed some poop on my chair.  Awesome.