You gain weight?

As we all know, I love getting manicures and pedicures!! And, I am generally a very loyal client once I find someone who perfectly polishes my elegant fingers.


I found a gal I loved. She went by Katie because I, along with many others, couldn't pronounce her Vietnamese name. Katie was sweet and kind. She would sing and hum quietly when I was tired. Ask how I was doing. Ask about Sam and what puppy antics he had been up to. She asked about my boyfriend and work. I think she genuinely cared.


I was Katie's client for years. I would rearrange my schedule to make sure she would be the one clipping my cuticles and shaping my nails into perfect squovals.



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Then one day everything changed. This was the day Katie looked at me slightly confused during my pedicure and said, 'You gain weight?'

I had. Probably 15 pounds. I was happy and in love so I ate and drank whatever I wanted. And, yes, I had gained weight. I was not happy about that but before I could answer she quickly followed with 'what you eat?'


I was mortified. Embarrassed. Red-faced. I already knew I wasn't happy with the extra 18 lbs I had put on. And, I certainly wasn't happy with Katie pointing it out either.


For  my next manicure I took my money and my extra 21 pounds elsewhere.

Maximizing my Assets

So you might be wondering where I've been.  Why I haven't written in a bit.  See, I've been busy.  Busy working.  Busy traveling for work. Busy buying the appropriate undergarments to wear to the work functions that I have to travel for to attend.

Undergarments are an interesting thing.  Whether granny panties or hanky panky's we women are loyal to the things that touch our most delicate of parts.  At the same time we also do what we can to maximize our assets. 

I'll tell you a little story about that.

I am a curvier girl.  Even curvier than I used to be. Particularly on the bottom.  I've got some hips.  I don't love them when I notice the dimples that I had hoped would be on my face are actually on my thighs.  But, I do like having shape.  I like having what Sir Mix A Lot calls an Oakland booty.  It's mine and it's cool.  I just wish it was sometimes a wee bit smaller.  To achieve this desired state I have become good friends with an undergarment called Spanx.  I've become even better friends with her wallet-friendlier sister, Assets. 

These Assets flatter my assets.  Everything is sleeker, smoother and better looking.  Gone are panty-lines, bumps, jiggles and lumps.  Everything is lifted, sucked in and I have a perfectly shaped lower half.  Love it.

Over the holidays I found a new dress that I am In. Love. With.  It's knit.  It clings.  It requires the incredibly slimming action of Spanx or Assets. I wanted a full body tube that would slim my tummy, slenderize my thighs and round out my derriere.  I hit Tar-jzay (this is how you say Target when you are buying fancy things there i.e. Assets not toilet paper).  I found exactly what I wanted in Assets.  Probably saved a good $40 bucks vs. her sister, Spanx.  Victory.

Fast forward to my work function. Left the hotel at 6:30. AM.  Planning to be gone until 10 something. PM.  Hair coiffed?  Check.  Make-Up Applied?  Check.  Tights? Check.  Assets tube slimmer? Check. Darling knit dress? Check.  Knee high black boots? Check.  I. Looked. Awesome!

About 2 hours later, I felt like an idiot.  Every step I took Assets slipped up a notch on my body.  She was no longer slimming my thighs.  She was now bunched up at my waist.  Literally.  She worked her way up my thighs the minute I would pull her down.  She just wasn't having it.  I toyed with taking her off mid-day.   Maybe putting her in my bag.  But, there was never an opportunity.  What was I going to do, walk out of the bathroom carrying my undergarment in my hand?

So, instead, all day, I adjusted whenever I thought no one was looking.  Which probably meant everyone was looking.  Oh well.  I just had to laugh.  I have to laugh now.  Here I was, trying to look better.  And, instead I looked like the poor girl who had ill-fitting undergarments.  My sophisticated cover was blown.   I should have just let my tummy out.  No one would have noticed that.  I'm sure the entire party saw me stick my hand up my dress to yank my black tube 'dress' down from my waist to my knees.

Lovely.

Counting My Blessings

I took a little blogging break as I was resting, relaxing, shopping, sunning and watching some hoops in the Virgin Islands over Thanksgiving.  The Littlest was playing in an islands tournament and so our family hopped a few planes to celebrate one of my most favorite holidays beachside.

 

Over the last month I've seen Facebook friends posting daily about all of things that have made their Thankful lists. I didn't partake in this trend but decided that on the last day of the month I'd jot down all of things I am blessed by and with.  Efficiency.  30 days of something I'm thankful for in one list, one post.  Done.  Read on.  And, this is not in order of least to most thankful or vice versa so don't be insulted if you aren't number 1.

          

My Blessings

1) Laughter (side-splitting, eyes watering, out loud laughter)

2) Kindness (in heart and mind)

3) La Famiglia (both sides and the 'family' that is not even biologically tied)

4) Sunshine

5) My pooch, Sam (although sometimes I want to send him off with the Gypsy's)

6) Girlfriends (enough said)

7) Baubles (bracelets, diamonds, cheap costume plastic stuff, heirlooms)

8) Ice Cream (Ben & Jerry's Phish Food in particular)

9) Bond No. 5 Nuit de Noho

10) Beaches (sand, turquoise water, sunshine, palm trees, Bette Midler)

11) Crushes (and the butterflies that come with them)

12) My trusty Volvo

13) Xanax (the calm that overcomes the storm)

14) Seashells (junonia's, jewels of the sea, catpaws, conchs, tulips)

15) Open Windows

16) Chardonnay (Rombauer is at the top of the list)

17) Gossip Magazines (and the trash they talk)

18) Grandparent memories (old spice, tab, velcro rollers, pontoon boats)

19) Church Hopping

20) Mani-Pedi's (and the Vietnamese women who are really good at doing them)

21) Wi-Fi and data plans

22) Sunroof - Moonroof (toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe)

23) Post-It's (thank you Romy & Michelle or maybe 3M)

24) Good reads (bound or nook)

25) Hand Lotion (Kiehls, l'occitane, love+toast, Archipelago)

26) Mentors (you know who you are)

27) Frequent flyer miles and hotel status (Thank you AA and Marriott)

28) Coca Cola (diet, zero, caffeine free and just plain ol' Coca Cola in the red can)

29) Old Sweatshirts (one GAP gray one that I love to wear inside out)

30) Gluten free cookies (who am I kidding, gluten free everything)
 

 

I Heart Manicures

I love getting a mani-pedi.  I love that I can relax and sit in silence and have my feet and hands pampered.

I don't love that I am SO picky when it comes to my mani-pedi.  I recently went in for this amazing service at my favorite nail salon.  So there I am.  Feet in the tub. Soaking off the gel nail polish from my fingers.  This is where you submerge your fingertips in acetone and the gel magically soaks away.  It never works like this for me.  They always have to take one of those metal sticks and scrape the existing gel polish off.  And, of course they do it with vigor. So it hurts.  And, if you don't get another manicure with the magic gel polish they charge you $20 to take off what they put on two weeks ago.  What a racket.  But I love it.

Before I start the mani-pedi goodness I always spend too much time debating the color I want. And, since I wanted bright red on my fingers I had to look at every gel color with extreme scrutiny.  The gel colors are painted on fake plastic fingernails so you also have to be careful because it never looks exactly the same on human hands.   

When we got to the point that my toes were painted with the 'matching' red in non-gel nail color I decided I didn't like it.  Like hated it.  It looked way too orangey red. I prefer a blue-red over an orange-red any day.  I hated it to the point that I wanted it off.  Immediately. 

Unfortunately I felt bad because the gal just spent time tending to my toes.  And, you have to always be nice to your manicurist. They remember when you complain or are difficult.  And, I can be difficult.  I don't like when my nails are too long or too short.  Or, too round or too square. Sometimes I think they look funny so I ask them to file it just a bit more. They always fix it.  Even if they think you are crazy.  And, they smile when they do it.  So if I asked her to redo it she would...but then on my next manicure she'd accidentally cut my cuticle and have to use that green stuff that burns like crazy but stops the bleeding. Or, take the metal stick and scrape with anger. 

After weighing my options I went ahead with the 'matching' red on my hands. You know, because I liked it SO MUCH on my toes I was sure that I would LOVE it on my hands. 

Fast forward and it's been 6 days since the mani.  I still don't love the red I picked.  But it has grown on me.  And, apparently other people like it because I was complimented by my friend on how beautiful my hands are.  Maybe she was still drunk. Or, it was dark in the room.  Or, she really thought my hands were nice.

I was also just complimented on the manicure by a co-worker.  She said she lives vicariously through me since I can get a mani. 

I started to complain about how much I didn't like it.  And, then thought..wow, she doesn't have the time to get a manicure.  And, then I was grateful. And, Happy. And, thankful for my orangey red manicure. 

And, even though I don't love the color of my manicured nails I love that I have the time to do it.