Sunday, December 2, 2012

Just Plane Inappropriate

I travel often.  I am not a 'road warrior' but I do have status which allows me great perks like access to exit row seats. 

I am also tall, for a lady.  And, taller than many men.  Which drains my dating pool.  Significantly.  This is another post.  But, just a second.  Seriously, it stinks.  I am doing the online dating thing and I rule out thousands of men due to height alone.  Some are hot!  Reminds me of a guy from college my friends and I used to call 'would be hot if tall'.  I don't think we ever called him this to his face.  Well, maybe once, after spending too many hours enjoying Penny Pitchers.   

Anyway, I digress.  Back to the original story... I am also tall, for a lady.  So, I really appreciate when I secure the exit row aisle seat.  I'll take an exit window or an exit center if necessary.  But the aisle is hitting the airplane seat assignment jackpot!!

On my recent trip to the islands I secured the exit row.  But, it was the window seat.  Okay, not ideal, but definitely better than a standard row where my knees are always at risk for being knocked around when someone in front of me decides to recline to rest.  Then I have to uncross my legs because I am never prepared and I always knock them back.  They think I am a bitch.  And, in the spirit of honesty since it is Sunday, sometimes I knock a little harder if I am annoyed that they flopped back during the recline and jarred my computer.

Moving on. 

So, my seatmates were a young couple in love.  They were lost in eachother's eyes.  Holding hands.  Maybe it was a honeymoon trip.  It was kind of sweet and kind of annoying.



We take off and the girl decides its time to get comfortable.     So, she takes off her shoes.  Really?  I think this is totally inappropriate on the plane.  Now, it could be worse, she could be clipping her fingernails or eating chicken off the bone straight out of a ziploc baggie.  I've seen both.  But, shoe removal on the plane is bad and one of my pet peeves.




What if I was terrified of feet?  Or, what if her feet smelled?  You don't always realize it.  And, she was wearing inexpensive pleather ballet flats which is a prime way to achieve foot smell.  Not knocking them.  Have several pair.  Also carry baby powder when I wear mine to avoid the foot sweats.




Anyway, her feet are pointed in my direction for a bit.  Then she starts to shift.  And, then she gets really comfortable.  Like, laying-around-the-house-watching-tv comfortable.  She just up and throws her un-shoed feet and legs over her main squeeze's lap.  Awesome, I've just crashed date night. 


Seriously?  Is this your living room?  Are we on your couch?  In your gingerbread house?  I would bet that she doesn't do that at a dinner party when she is kindly waiting for dessert to be served.  Or, in a hotel lobby.  Or, in the Dr's office waiting room. Or, at her in-laws house before she really got to know them. So, why on earth 17E is it okay to do it on the plane?


Take your legs off your husband, shoeless wonder.  Put your darling ballet flats back on.  Stop cuddling so that in the event of an emergency you will be willing and ABLE to assist the flight crew.  Bare feet are just plane plain inappropriate!





2 comments:

  1. Hilarious! Airplane PDA.
    And, we didn't actually call WBHIT that to his face. We told his roommate (after a few "Adrienes"), and HE spilled the beans. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Adrienne's!!! Totally forgot about those.. At 20 something it was nectar of the gods. What went into making those delicious drinks? As always, impressed by your memory! Thanks for reading!! xo

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