Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Ruby Red Lipstick: Anniversary Edition

I am single.  I have been for a year now.  To the day. 

Yes, I dumped my ex on Halloween of last year.  He applied for a car loan in my name.  For a Range Rover.  When he was unemployed.  Really?

He did a handful of other things that really crossed the line and my forgiveness had just run out.  So, I came home mid-day and told him it was over.  I didn't cry.  I just felt an incredible sense of Peace.  Even when he called me every nasty word you can think of to refer to a woman or her body. Or, when in the middle of The BreakUp he changed his relationship status on Facebook to 'single'.  Who does that?  Peaceful the whole time. Seriously.

That peaceful easy feeling lasted for about 14 hrs.  Then, I woke up and I felt terrible.  And, I felt great.  And, I felt sad.  And, I felt happy. And, I felt relief. And, I felt lost.  And, I felt found.

For a while it was a mix of these emotions but eventually I got over the ex and the relationship.  My friends were amazingly supportive through it all!  The best friends a girl could ask for.  Xanax also helped. So did wine.  Sometimes too much.  But never too much of both at the same time. I even called the Walgreen's pharmacist a few times to be sure my time between the sedatives and the wine was enough. They think I am completely nuts. Safety first.

I think the 'tipping point' in my 'moving on' was when me and my Ruby Red Lips found him at a pizza place.  No, I didn't smooch him. YUCK! I seriously just gagged a little.  I did however try to play nice.  Until he asked me to do him a favor. 

 Him: Liz, could you do me a favor?
 Me: Sure, what's that?  (me trying to play nice)
 Him:  Lay off the red lipstick?

Seriously?  Who says that?  Lay off the red lipstick?  Really?

Whatever.  Like he had any right to comment on my appearance or my make-up selection. Who did he think he was?

I love me some red lipstick.  Here is one of my favorite pics of me rockin' red lips. I get that the picture is a bit crazy. Cray-Zee is totally why I love it.

Whenever I put on the red lipstick I am empowered, strong, beautiful and confident.  Actually I feel that way in pink lip gloss or when I wear chapstick too.  But, when I pop the cap off of the red I remember that moment and how good it felt to tell him

Me: Actually...I like it...so I'll probably keep wearing it. *smug smile*

Today, I am wearing red lipstick.  And, I feel Great.  Happy and Healthy. Peaceful and Pretty.  Sassy and Sophisticated.  And, I don't have a Range Rover in my driveway.  And, even better, he doesn't have one in his.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I Heart Manicures

I love getting a mani-pedi.  I love that I can relax and sit in silence and have my feet and hands pampered.

I don't love that I am SO picky when it comes to my mani-pedi.  I recently went in for this amazing service at my favorite nail salon.  So there I am.  Feet in the tub. Soaking off the gel nail polish from my fingers.  This is where you submerge your fingertips in acetone and the gel magically soaks away.  It never works like this for me.  They always have to take one of those metal sticks and scrape the existing gel polish off.  And, of course they do it with vigor. So it hurts.  And, if you don't get another manicure with the magic gel polish they charge you $20 to take off what they put on two weeks ago.  What a racket.  But I love it.

Before I start the mani-pedi goodness I always spend too much time debating the color I want. And, since I wanted bright red on my fingers I had to look at every gel color with extreme scrutiny.  The gel colors are painted on fake plastic fingernails so you also have to be careful because it never looks exactly the same on human hands.   

When we got to the point that my toes were painted with the 'matching' red in non-gel nail color I decided I didn't like it.  Like hated it.  It looked way too orangey red. I prefer a blue-red over an orange-red any day.  I hated it to the point that I wanted it off.  Immediately. 

Unfortunately I felt bad because the gal just spent time tending to my toes.  And, you have to always be nice to your manicurist. They remember when you complain or are difficult.  And, I can be difficult.  I don't like when my nails are too long or too short.  Or, too round or too square. Sometimes I think they look funny so I ask them to file it just a bit more. They always fix it.  Even if they think you are crazy.  And, they smile when they do it.  So if I asked her to redo it she would...but then on my next manicure she'd accidentally cut my cuticle and have to use that green stuff that burns like crazy but stops the bleeding. Or, take the metal stick and scrape with anger. 

After weighing my options I went ahead with the 'matching' red on my hands. You know, because I liked it SO MUCH on my toes I was sure that I would LOVE it on my hands. 

Fast forward and it's been 6 days since the mani.  I still don't love the red I picked.  But it has grown on me.  And, apparently other people like it because I was complimented by my friend on how beautiful my hands are.  Maybe she was still drunk. Or, it was dark in the room.  Or, she really thought my hands were nice.

I was also just complimented on the manicure by a co-worker.  She said she lives vicariously through me since I can get a mani. 

I started to complain about how much I didn't like it.  And, then thought..wow, she doesn't have the time to get a manicure.  And, then I was grateful. And, Happy. And, thankful for my orangey red manicure. 

And, even though I don't love the color of my manicured nails I love that I have the time to do it.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Happy Hallowine!!

I can't believe Halloween is right around the corner...I've always loved Halloween and loved getting dressed up! 

A couple of years ago my friends decided to go as Angels & Devils.  Nothing like seeing tinted Escalade doors open and several scantily clad devils and angels hop out.

The plan outlined that each of us dress as our opposite.  Nice girls should be devils and the 'other' girls would be angels.  Some of us are just not as nice as the rest.  So, two of us were angels. My angel partner in crime shall remain nameless.  We had fun as our alter egos.  We were nice and happy and sweet.  All night. 


This year I am going to pass on the dressing up.  One, I can't fit into any of my costumes.  Two, this year's sleazy costumes are not my thing. And, three,  I have no bar-hopping, crazy clubbing plans.  Gone are the days of finding my way to the VIP room dressed as a 'Naughty Catholic School Girl' to pop bottles with one of the 'bones from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and Mystikal.  Gone is the desire to 'shake' my assets in a 'Captain Booty' pirate costume. Gone is the wish to dance with the 'Devils' at a haunted house.

This year, I'd rather be an observer.  Watch the kids run through the neighborhood in their costumes. Hand out candy after laughing at terrible trick or treat jokes. Smile at the parents who have to sort through all of that candy and hide half of it so Johnny doesn't vomit on his costume or his sister.    

I'll do that and drink wine.  Maybe in wings and my halo.

Have a Safe and Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Please Meet Sam, the dog, formerly known as Prince

when Sam was a little pup..

This is the sweetness I call Sam.  I adopted him from a local shelter several years ago.  His name was Prince when I met him.  To me Prince should be a bad-to-the-bone bulldog or Pit.  Or, a little, tiny, pocket puppy!   So, since I was adopting him there was an immediate name change. His official name: Sam, the dog, formerly known as Prince.  Sam, Sammers, Sammydog, Dogathon or Puppy for short.

Sam and I have many good times. I love when he snuggles, tosses his toys around for himself or morphs into Rocket Dog and blasts through the yard in circles.  Laugh out loud funny. Every time he does it.  We've also had a few bad times.  Like when he ate my Gucci horsebit sunglasses or chewed the corners off of 7, yes SEVEN, comforters.  This was when he was a puppy.  I guess he had a thing for stuffing.  Or when he stayed at my friends house when I was out of town and ate the baby Jesus from the nativity. Or, maybe it was Joseph?  Or, a wise men?  Whatever. 

Sam makes me laugh every day.  Sometimes he makes me scream.  Like yesterday.   But he doesn't understand when I yell F&*K!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SAM !!!!!!!!!!!!  He probably thinks I yelled  PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!  SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! So he wags his tail and smiles at me.  And, I want to scream.

Why?  Well...I found some kind of brown smudge on the B R A N D  N E W slipcover for the chair cushion.  Literally not even 24 hours old. Just ironed and steamed and updated yesterday. I stared down the smudge hoping it would disappear. And, this is what goes through my mind...

Chocolate..did he eat chocolate!?! Oh, no!!!   But how could he have gotten chocolate?  Chocolate kills dogs.. Mud?? ..more likely than chocolate.  But, he wasn't in the mud?  There is no mud. Plus he was only outside long enough to lift his leg and take a few deep bunny-sniffing dog breaths.

Dog poop????   Oh My Gawd....It's dog poop!!!! I am sure of it.  Poop on my brand new slipcover! Are you kidding me???? How on earth did Sam get poop on the chair?!?!?  It can't be dog poop, it has to be chocolate!!! 

But, the dog-mother sniff-test confirmed...it was indeed poop! Dog! Poop!

You see Sam likes to sit on the back of the chair and daydream out the window.  So instead of just watching squirrels to pass the time I guess he rubbed some poop on my chair.  Awesome.
 

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Steroids..not just for MVP's

Steroids work miracles.  I was sick earlier this week and a shot of steroids helped me wake up the next day full of energy, ready to go and no longer sounding like I had a 3 pack-a-day habit. Granted my bum felt like I was kicked by a horse, but I could breathe, I sounded like me, I. Felt. Better.  Good enough to go to the Cards game and watch them smoke the Giants.  Hopefully we'll see more of that tonight in San Francisco.

Now I am taking 60 mg of steroids in 6 pill-a-day fashion to help keep me breathing cleanly and to eliminate the upper respiratory infection I had.  Past Tense. It is going, going...gone!  Kind of like all of the homeruns hit during the steroid era of baseball. 

Now granted these are two very different types of steroids, right?  I am not trying to get stronger or bulk up like an All-Star.  Although, I think I could put away a bag of chips in seconds because I want to eat everything in sight.  And, I am experiencing crazy amounts of energy.

So I updated my living room...I had ordered new Crate & Barrel slip covers for my couch and chair and they F I N A L L Y arrived.  So I spent yesterday evening steaming, ironing, eating, straightening, steaming, ironing, straightening and eating.

Here's the 'new' chair.  Thank you Crate & Barrel.  Now if only I could have sat still long enough to enjoy the comfy newness of it.  Instead I started laundry and had some cookies.




Saturday, October 20, 2012

A first time for everything..

In life there are many 'firsts' - a first birthday, first day of school, first kiss, first hangover, first 'real' job, first health scare, first house, first love, first loss.  Today is my FIRST blog.  Ever. And, just like every other first, it is intimidating, exciting, a bit uncomfortable and after it happens I'll probably think of a million things I should have, could have, would have done differently.

I have been inspired to blog by two wonderful (and crazy) women I met one night over dinner with friends at my favorite Mexican restaurant, 'The Ranch'.  Keep this in mind. 'The Ranch' will come up again. Likely on a Thursday. It's a tradition. Maybe that's why my jeans are tight. Anyway, both women are bloggers and have quite a following.  I shared a few of my stories over fajitas and enchiladas and talked about how I am a little narcissistic and they said sign up, join the fun. 

I looked at blog options that night stuffed from my Mexican fiesta. But just couldn't take the leap into the land of blog. Perhaps it was a Mexican coma.  Or, just a lack of adventure.  But I did not take that first step.

A few months later one of the women was in town again, visiting her daughter, one of my good friends.  We talked more about it over dinner.  We like to eat.  Although this time it was Italian. Yum. And again she was talking to me about blogging.  What really had me hooked is that she was headed to our fancy mall the next day to buy herself a new Louis Vuitton with her blog money.  Now, that's what I am talking about. Granted, I am nowhere near Louis status in the blog world.  I am starting out..it's like buying your first designer handbag at Coach.  Very exciting, but not Louis exciting. Maybe my blog will get there one day.  Today, I am just going to enjoy my first post and maybe I'll find that Coach handbag and appreciate it for what it was..my first.